Onions

Alright onions, I have a beef with you.  I'm fine with the whole eye-watering thing you have going on because that's kind of your thing.  But whenever I cut onions, everything smells sort of like onions for like 36 hours.  I don't want that.  That's not what I signed up for.  When I scratch my face and smell my hand, my hand should smell like nothing.  Not like onions.  Screw you onions.